Friday Flip-Offs 7/30
It’s Friday. I’m flipping. A week from now I’ll be in NYC for Blogher, exhausted but having a blast.
Head on over to Gigi at Kludgy Mom to check out the other flippers, again not the pageant kiddie teeth, since I’m still too much of a dumbass to make the linky code work. Awesome.
Also? Why don’t you do your own flips and link up this week? You know you wanna…
Yellow jackets/hornets/stinging things with wings-So I have a super smart, and hot, hubs and a super sweet, but dumb, dog. Clifford the big red dog, we didn’t name him. Anyhoo, chipmunks, and a random armadillo have taken over our yard. We have tons of little holes everywhere. What we thought were chipmunk holes. So the other day J shoves a stick in the hole. And? It wasn’t chipmunks. About 1000 stinging things swarmed out and attacked them. J ran across the street screaming and calling for Clifford to come. Since he, Cliff not J, knows he’s not allowed to cross the street he ended up getting stung while he was trying what to do. Screw you things with stingers.
The can I ask you a question people in the mall- Flip off. I hate you. You should be against the law with wanting to rub me with weird products, yank out my eyebrow hairs and massage me in the middle of the mall. That’s relaxing. Your whole, “May I ask you a question?” Guess what? You just did.
School supply lists. You must have 5 notebooks in these exact pantone colors, and by the way there have never been notebooks even produced in these colors. I swear teachers put them on there just to be hateful. And? Way to kill any self-expression. I still fondly remember my trapper keeper with the unicorn, rainbow and fluffy cloud hearts that I carried proudly through first grade.
So that causes me to give a hearty middle finger to trapper keeper folders-your handy multiplication tables are why I still have a hard time with math.(Because our teachers let us put a fortress of folders around us so the other children couldn’t cheat.) But I can totally compute instantly in my head how much something is if it’s 25%, 30%, etc off. It’s a skill.
Word verification-I comment on LOTS of blogs and try really hard to visit everyone who stops here but you? YOU make that task take twice as long.
That’s all I got this week kids. What about you? What irked you this week?
© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Why I DIDN’T make a video for Project Mom: be glad
Again, this is not about porn. I maybe should make just that a sub-header title thing here since most people come here after googling spanx porn. For the umpteenth time, ewww…and no. Really? There is no way it can be hot to get it on while wearing spandex from nipples to knees.
Anyways-thank you ALL for the awesome feedback on the Project Mom post. The awesome Glamamom actually said she wished I would have made a video as mine was one of the best submissions. Did I pay her? No. Do I want to cover her in sparkles? Totally.
I did NOT make a video because, despite, hopefully anyways, appearances to the contrary I am a bit of a tech idiot. If I didn’t have a super talented, slave labor person, commonly known as my sister-I would not have fab graphics. And for those that asked about my button and the texty html box that may or may not be illegal? Yeah, Shell did that for me.
Within hours of having my first blackberry, I also had my first blackident. I tripped over a curb while working it.
And after my near concussion when trying to take some sexy time lingerie shots on my own? No.
So we really CAN’T be surprised that I was a little reluctant to tempt fate, I mean guarantee I look like an eijit, by submitting a video. How do I know this?
My laptop came with a built-in webcam. Which I didn’t want. I could see NO good coming of this.
And? I was right.
When I was still in event management I was on some sort of web-based conference call. In my pj’s, makeupless, drinking a diet coke. I also may have briefly picked my nose, allegedly. I kept hearing people laughing and muttering things like, “look at her, she’s so crazy” but I ignored it because a. we were on the INTERNET which makes you invisible and b. people say shit like that ALL the time when I’m around. You learn to tune it out.
FINALLY, once they got bored laughing, a co-worker im’ed me to say, “Amy. Your webcam is on. We are all watching you. FYI.”
There may have been some shrieking and flinging of the laptop as I hollered for J to come immediately. Right now. Why did I need him? To turn off the webcam, dammit.
I didn’t even know my webcam was ON, I sure as hell didn’t know how to turn it OFF. And neither did he. There may have been some duct tape involved.
What did I learn? Webcams are the devil. And nobody looks cute when being filmed from a laptop. That up angle at which they shoot ages you and enhances your chins. Always more flattering to be shot from above. My fave photographer used to stand on a chair to take my pic. Don’t believe me? Try it out. I am so FULL of the helpful hints. Like Heloise. Except for real-life useable stuff.
So that’s WHY there was no video. And you’re welcome everyone for the visual.
© Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amy Lloyd Mayfield and Amy’s Blam with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
